Pancakes

At yum cha on a rainy Saturday afternoon…

CHIARA:…yeah, so—sorry, can I have one of those sticky rice things?—we have this rule in the house, now. You know how we’re all lonely spinsters, all three of us? Well, we decided that if anyone ever brings someone home, she has to cook pancakes the next morning for the rest of the flat.

SUMING: What about the person? The person you bring home?

CHIARA: Him or her too, I’m assuming. I mean, I’m assuming they’ll be hungry. And the idea is that the person has to, like, wear your clothes and be all shy and awkward at the breakfast table.

ALESSANDRO: So you have to make the pancakes for the one you bring home?

CHIARA: Theoretically. So far no one has brought anyone home. None of us are doing very well with the dudes and/or the ladies, so we haven’t tested it yet.

ALESSANDRO: But you can have pancakes even if you didn’t bring anyone home.

CHIARA: Right, I personally, Chiara, don’t have to bring anyone home—just someone in the flat does. But I get to have the pancakes in the morning regardless, if someone brings someone home.

GIANPIETRO: But what if you don’t have any flour or eggs at home?

CHIARA: I…I don’t know, we usually have the basics in the house…

GIANPIETRO: Would you not let someone come home with you if you were out of milk? Because what’s in pancakes: eggs, milk, and flour, right?

ALESSANDRO: You can put a little sugar, maybe.

ROSIE: I think that’s just on top if you are making French crepes.

GIANPIETRO: So what you are saying is that if you meet some guy and you want to take him home, you have to think about what’s in your kitchen before you go.

RAFFAELE: Come on GP, she will obviously check the kitchen before she goes out.

SUMING: It’s part of getting ready, like putting on your makeup.

RAFFAELE: And don’t forget, your room has to be clean and perfect if you want pancakes.

CHIARA: You guys are making this much more complicated than it needs to be. It’s just, you know, you bring someone home, and…you have breakfast the next morning! That’s it! That’s all! It’s not hard! If you have to run down to the dairy for eggs, fine!

ROSIE: I want some pancakes tomorrow, what about if I come home with you tonight?

CHIARA: Well, that’s not really the spirit of the thing, but yeah, I guess, if you want pancakes, I guess you can come over. I mean it doesn’t have to be a sex thing, although that’s kind of the whole idea.

RAFFAELE: I live just down the road from you, so I will sniff in the morning and: ‘Mmmm! Pancakes!’

GIANPIETRO: You just have to text us all if you get lucky tonight and we can all come over. We will be knocking on your door, waiting for pancakes!

CHIARA: Oh trust me, texting you all is the first thing I’ll do if I bring someone home.

ALESSANDRO: You just have to text one word: PANCAKES, and we will know.

CHIARA: Wow, because the flatmates and I actually DID agree that we WOULD text each other just ‘pancakes’ if we WERE going to bring someone home.

GIANPIETRO: Maybe they can go to the store for you if you don’t have time.

CHIARA: Or you guys could just bring me some stuff when apparently you all come to my house in the morning just on the off chance that I pulled and am making pancakes for twelve.

RAFFAELE: No, Chiara, come on. You can just stop at New World on your way home in the cab.

CHIARA: Like, ‘Hang on a second baby, I just need to run in and get some…ingredients.’

ALESSANDRO: I think maybe he will get very excited!

RAFFAELE: When you bring out the maple syrup!

GIANPIETRO: You don’t even have to put it in the pantry, you can just leave it beside the bed.

ALESSANDRO: Come on, be serious. Maple syrup. On pancakes Nutella is so much better!