I want to be putting up a(nother) big picture entry all about my weekend with my crazy cousin David, who just blew through town like a tsunami in a bright yellow motorcycle suit. I want to be telling you about how the aforementioned weekend involved the ukulele orchestra, an astoundingly yummy five-course home-cooked dinner, more talking about sex than you would ever think was possible between family members, a trip to the ER, and emergency fish and chips. I want to be telling you about what a good time I had and how exhausted I am, but instead…instead I must tell you about how I…how I…I can barely type the words…how I put my cell phone through the washer.
I put my cell phone through the washer. I put my cell phone through the washer. That sentence has been on heavy rotation through the hallowed recesses of my brain for about fifteen hours now, and I can think of nothing else. I put my cell phone through the washer. The washer. My cell phone. I put it through.
As A. helpfully pointed out, “Your phone is not a towel!” and you know, the more I think about it, the more I realize that she’s so right. Why? Why would I do that? Why didn’t I check my pockets? Why was I in such a hurry to get out of my capris and into my yoga pants? Why did I have to do laundry right then? Why wouldn’t I take better care of my things? Why did my keys (totally washable) and my bus ticket (not really washable but didn’t have all my contact numbers on it) make it out of those pants but not the phone? I have spent most of today considering how I might best build a time machine so that I can go back to yesterday evening and take that damn phone out of those damn pants and not put it through the damn washer.
And I never thought I…who did not start using a cell phone until about 2004 and didn’t go to it exclusively until 2006, who learned how to text on a bus ride from Napier to Wellington, who is not completely sure why phones have to have games and cameras and internet on them…I never thought that the sentence “How did we LIVE without CELL PHONES?” would ever come out of my mouth, as I was discussing the dire implications of my having put my c.p. through the w. with my cousin and my friend Mat, who had come over for Hell Pizza and a movie. I was thinking about how I don’t even know our landline number, and how I have all these meetings for work this week, and how I was supposed to meet up with Lydia and Charlie on Tuesday so we could go to a Fringe play and how I have no way of letting them know that they can’t contact me because they don’t check email all that frequently. When I walked Mat to the door at the end of the evening, (which was, largely, spent by my running around the house screaming at the top of my lungs) I had to say, “Thanks for coming over, have a great rest of your time in Welly, sorry I won’t be able to get in touch with you EVER AGAIN.”
Obviously I immediately googled OMG + I + put my + cell phone + in the washer + kill me now, and the results were not that soothing. Some sources were like, “Oh, just dry it out real good and it should be good as new!” and others were like, “Take it apart with special tools and then clean it with deionised water and then, if you have a friend with a professional shop oven, take it over there and put it on low, and then dry the whole thing out with a infinitesimal brush made out of mink fur, and then gently, ever so gently, replace the battery (AFTER you’ve sacrificed the virgin), and you might have a chance, but frankly I don’t think so.” We don’t even have a hair dryer in our house and I didn’t think putting it in the clothes dryer would help, so currently it’s just sitting in the sun on my windowsill, battery and SIM card removed, holding my hopes and dreams for semi-instant communication with it. I keep thinking about all the friends I’m going to lose because they’re going to think I’m ignoring them when I don’t respond to their texts. During Sione’s Wedding last night I got all mad every time one character answered his phone (“Hmph. He didn’t put his phone through the washer,”), and then, when another character put his phone in his drink (on purpose!) I blanched and swallowed hard and had to look away.
Histrionics aside, this will resolve itself somehow, I guess: either it will dry out or I’ll win the ridiculous overbid I put up on TradeMe. One of my co-workers said he might have an old phone kicking around that I can pop my SIM card into, so soon I hope to be able to breathlessly text everyone I know with HEY HI DID YOU MISS ME I’M SURE YOU SENT ME MULTIPLE TEXTS IN THE PAST 24 HOURS BUT I NEVER GOT THEM OH MAN YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I DID I PUT MY PHONE IN THE WASHER ISN’T THAT STUPID AM I TALKING TOO MUCH I GUESS SO OH WELL I’M JUST SO GLAD TO HAVE A PHONE AGAIN I WONDER IF MY TRADEME BID GOT ACCEPTED OKAY WELL GOTTA GO FOR SOME REASON MY THUMB IS REALLY TIRED NOW. I can only hope.
Sigh. I haven’t felt this stupid since that soap thing and girl, you know that is saying a lot.
Comments
16 responses to “OMG + I + put my + cell phone + in the washer”
Noooooooooooo! Not the washer! Not the cell phone! Ouch…
Crossing my fingers that it’ll dry out and work fine.
Been there, done that. (Actually, Robb did that. Mine fell out of my pocket into … you can guess.) Both died.
Oh girl. I put my Palm through the wash once so I feel your pain a little. Everyone I might have called to complain was on the damn thing. So of course I told the Internet. But it’s not very satisfying, is it? I wish you good luck in your data-recovery adventures, and many nice soothing cups of tea.
You have an EriCA and an EriKA in your life? Lucky duck!
Anywho, hopefully it wll dry out, but your humor won’t.
Love you. Miss you. Come home n’ shit. *hugs*
Aaaack! The good news is that even if your phone is shot, your SIM should be OK. Also, since your phone is off right now, most (if not all) of the texts your not getting right now should come through in a big ol’ flurry once you have a phone that has been turned back on (if it’s the same number).
Good luck!
my very smart uncle who is retired from nasa, says that if you drop your phone in water (or perhaps wash it?) that you should take it & submerge it in rubbing alcohol…something to do w/ the density of the water and the density of the alcohol. the alcohol will push out the water & the alcohol then evaporates. however, it may not work since you did it yesterday. but maybe it’s still worth a try?
The other day I was working entirely too quickly and I paused to heat up some coffee in the microwave. I had my cell phone in one hand, my coffee in the other, and pregnancy brain.
I ALMOST PUT MY CELL PHONE IN THE MICROWAVE. I didn’t, but if I had I would have immediately pushed the 30 second button and cooked my cell phone for 30 seconds, possible blowing up the microwave and myself.
Hey Chiara – I feel your pain. Alan left his in his pants pocket, I did the wash, and after I moved everything to the dryer I heard a mysterious clunking sound. Yes, it was his cell phone clean and ready to be dried. I was smart enough not to say “why did you leave your phone in your pocket” (based on a backing out of the driveway incident involving a certain corolla named Melvin where I learned a very valuable lesson about accepting responsibility) and simply apologized for not checking pockets like I usually do.
Good news, the phone dried and it worked fine. Those Noika people must have had unintentional machine washing as one of their product standards.
I hope yours will dry out and be just fine.
Good luck and love ya!
I accidentally washed Scott’s cell phone (although checking the pockets? Really not my responsibility.) After it dried out it worked, although according to him it was never quite right again.
Did you use fabric softener?
Ha, Ames, I had totally forgotten about that. That poor car.
I’m taking the old phone, you who are wanting an update, to the Vodafone people tomorrow and crossing my fingers, although the support person I spoke with this morning didn’t sound very sanguine when I told her the situation. She said that I might lose all my contacts forever…which is good, because I am TIRED and I have to STOP GOING OUT all the time. I never liked all those people anyway!
I did that myself, a couple of years ago. I think it was my first embarrassing blog entry. *L* If you didn’t try to turn it on before letting it dry out for 24 hours, you have a much better chance of getting it back. I didn’t know that, and punched the power button right away. It came back on, and just when it looked like everything was going to be okay, it made the saddest little chirp, and died forever. Good luck!
I once had a bottle of diet coke (ok, Coca Cola Light) empty itself into my stylish manbag, which I couldn’t do much about because I was on a commuter train between stops. A few seconds later my bag began vibrating and I was like OMG, I put diet coke in my phone!
Anyway, I took the battery and SIM card out, rinsed it out really well, and let it dry near the radiator for a day or so, and it works almost as good as new. One or two of the buttons have gotten stubborn, but other than that it’s fine.
I’d say the prognosis is good.
To add to the chorus, I, too, put my cell phone in the washer … must have been in 2000 or so. The screen died, but the other stuff still worked. Still, it was a convenient opportunity to get rid of the thing and return to stealth mode. I’ve been happily hard to contact ever since. ;)
Never before read your blog – just stopped over from Sundry and had to comment on this post! My husband recently dropped his cell phone in a public toilet (YES! a public toilet! thank every diety he had just flushed) and the masterpiece of technological genius (previously referred to as “the piece of crap”) still works perfectly. There is hope if the Cell Phone Gods are with you – light a candle and make your sacrifice. Best of luck! Love your blog, btw.
My daughter dropped her cell phone in our lake, where it sat at the bottom for at least half an hour. After it dried out it needed a new battery, but otherwise was great. I’ve been told it’s the batteries more than anything that are the problem and to always try a new battery before you can it.
My friend dropped his cell phone in the lake after standing up for a pee off the paddle boat he never even bothered to get it lol