I get off the bus at the library and stand patiently in the checkout line with my holds. It’s so pink and gold and gorgeous outside…and light! Light at 5:00!..that I decide to walk home instead of catch another bus. My bag feels pleasantly heavy on my shoulder and I fish the iPod out of my jacket pocket and “Dead Leaves And The Dirty Ground” by the White Stripes comes on and my hair falls over my face and I jump in the air and just BANG that guitar when I hit the stage floor and the floodlights come up and there are hundreds of people screaming for me and my band and I am all flesh and bone and I snarl into the microphone and spin around and scream right back at them.
Closing my eyes and braising in the applause, I raise my fist in the air and “Cuz You Do” by Liam Lynch comes on and I straighten my cute skirt and click-clack up the sidewalk to meet my hilarious friends at a chic restaurant where we will eat delicious food and laugh uncontrollably. Who’s that handsome stranger staring at me as I flip my long perfect straight hair back behind my spaghetti-strapped shoulders? Is he looking over here? I purse my mouth and sip my champagne and laugh and he leans over the table to say something and “Man Smart Woman Smarter” comes on and I dive into the pool under the blue blue sky.
There are umbrellas over tables and palm trees and manicured grounds and the Hollywood sign is right in the background and I tug at the ruffles on my suit and pull up out of the pool, dripping with chlorinated water and privilege and they bring the hors d’oeuvres over to me and I take a pig-in-the blanket and reach for my cat’s-eye sunglasses. I lean back in a chaise lounge and “Cinnamon” by The Long Winters comes on and the lake is gleaming in the very beginnings of the sunset and I look down at my hands that used to be much more cinnamon-y ten or twelve years ago than they are now.
I pass the hot chocolate store and there is a bird’s nest in one of the trees nearby. It’s too high for me to see if there are any eggs in it and I think it might be a little early for that anyway, but I don’t really know too much about birds and nests and eggs anyway. I wonder if they like the smell of melted chocolate as much as I do when I walk by. People are walking and running around the lake and I can just make out a herd of Canada geese on the slope down from the kiddie pool. It’s all fresh and green and clean outside and the sun is going down so slowly, as if it wants to take in the view too. Soon there will be cherry blossoms and more months will go by and who knows where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing. The lights are on inside the house and the song ends just as I cross the threshold.