As usual, I am way behind the curve and so I didn’t see Fahrenheit 9/11 until last night. I’m still feeling itchy and anxious and sad from it. I’d read a lot about the film when it came out, of course, and I’d meant to see it opening weekend but first I moved and then I didn’t have anyone to go with (because all my friends were cooler than me and actually did see it opening weekend) and I felt a little shy to see it all by myself. Fortunately my awesome coworker Dr. M stepped into the breach and we went to see it last night.
I thought mostly about how completely bubble-fied I am. I don’t have TV and haven’t for several years so I think I may be one of the only non-Amish people in the country who hasn’t seen the footage of the plane crashing into the second tower. When we were waiting for news of my New York family on September 11, I was glued to NPR instead of to CNN or whatever. I’m pretty interested in seeing this Outfoxed movie but, you know, I’ve never watched FOX news so I don’t know how that will work, really. I get my news from the internet and NPR, mostly, and so seeing some of the footage (especially the New York on 9/11 stuff) was visceral and scary and too-real for me. I’m out of practice with the mass media.
And it’s more than that…I mean, I know a couple Republicans, and people who supported Bush in the 2000 elections, and maybe some people who will vote for him this time around. I don’t think I ever talk to these folks about politics though. I find that scary. This is mostly because of my own excellent ability in preaching to the choir and because I am not very good at arguing coherently. (This is my nightmare, though I like to watch). And because I am easily intimidated and easily convinced of almost anything: “Moon shot was faked, you say? Well, maybe you’re right.” I am trying to read some conservative political blogs right now to balance out my daily Internet fare, and whew, rough going there. I’m trying to understand though, I’m trying to understand what the Republican Party is about, what the Bush Administration is really about. One of these days I may even take another crack at trying to understand Libertarians. I don’t want to be a sheep here, just because I was raised liberal and because my values are generally in step with liberal values. I want to make my own choices and have my own opinions. I am relatively new to political consciousness whatsoever, the 2000 elections being the first about which I had any opinion at all. I remember, vaguely, voting for Clinton in 1996 but it wasn’t until I was in social work school that I really understood that um, it sort of matters who the president is.
What’s hard for me is that the liberal side of things just seems so normal and sensible. Right now I’m doing a lot of reading about barriers to healthcare access for folks with disabilities, because my day job is all about the sunshine and giggles, and I keep reading sentences like “The odds of respondents with incomes less than $20, 000 receiving needed specialty services, rehabilitation, assistive equipment, and prescription medication were roughly one-third those for respondents with higher incomes (Beatty, Hagglund, Neri, et al., 2003),” and I think, “Hey! That doesn’t sound right! Folks who are poor need more health care access!” Or I will wonder why stuff like the CCC doesn’t exist anymore because in my mind it’s simple: a lot of people don’t have jobs, and there’s a lot of work that needs to be done…so, you know? Why not get on that? We’re an initiative state here in Washington and I remember laughing ruefully to myself after the first Eyeman tax-cut thing went through and people began to complain that the buses were always late and that 911 wasn’t responding very well…because you know, those taxes that we don’t want to pay? Are actually used for stuff we want to use. And why not make it a huge giant priority to make sure that people have roofs over their heads and food to eat? How about making sure that everyone gets good education? Or even making sure that everyone who wants to vote gets to vote? Seriously, why not? I am not politically astute so I assume there must be some big reason that I just don’t know about that it’s fine with governments in general that so many people fall through the cracks. Still, it’s straightforward, to me. I guess that’s why the conservative points of view fly right by my head; it’s sometimes hard for me to take them seriously.
So in some ways it makes perfect sense to me to get most of my information from sources with which I basically agree, and Fahrenheit 9/11 definitely fit into that category. It mostly made me sad, and made me think about my own insularity, and how I can be changing my little part of the world, and how I still feel out of touch with the Democrats, but how I am still subscribing to the Anybody-But-Bush school of thought, and how this all makes me feel generally powerless, but how I want to change that. I’m going to volunteer with the Kerry campaign and see what that’s like. In the meantime I’ll be interested to hear what other people have to say about liberalism, conservatism, Bush, Kerry, the campaigns, Iraq, Afghanistan, FOX news, Michael Moore, Andrew Sullivan, and everything else, in the attempt to educate myself and form some real opinions. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll even be up to debating them.