Groupie

First things first: If you read journals, you may have already heard the terrible news about lovely and talented Allison and her husband Chris’s losing all their stuff (and their dog Murphy) in a fire in their apartment. There’s a site up that will allow you to make a donation or to get something off one of their new wishlists, should you feel moved. And you should. My best wishes and prayers and thoughts are with you, Allison and Chris, and I hope you get all set up soon and get a little more back to normal.

In other, less tragic news, I did see Margaret Atwood last night, and I did get my copy of Oryx and Crake signed, which I highly recommend to everyone. I mean, the reading of it, not the signing of it, although if you can manage that that’s cool. But do read it. Right now. Go get it, go donate it to your local library, lend it to your boyfriend or maybe that cute boy you see sitting in the Starbucks across from the Starbucks you’re sitting in. Possibly you will want to read it with all the lights on, as it is very scary. I’ll wait a couple days for everyone to get it before I treat you all to a detailed explanation of my opinions of the book, okay? You can thank me later.

I got to go to this with my friend to whom I’m now referring as Moxie. We ate some lovely Indian food and had a big discussion about the whole Shopping Theory thing…Moxie was very interested in this theory, as is everyone who hears about it, and we spent a lot of time talking about clothes and shoes and jewelry and hair and clothes and shoes. I feel very comfortable doing this with this girl. She is very good at telling me, in a soothing voice, “Well, you look great, so don’t even worry about it.” I am going to make her take me shopping soon.

The crowd to see Margaret Atwood was skewed heavily in the people-who-look-a-lot-like-my-mom direction, with a healthy smattering of young intense “aspiring writers.” There was even one girl who, during the Q&A time, introduced herself as such: “I’m a Canadian studying in the US, and I’m also an aspiring poet and writer, and I’m wondering what advice you have for me?” Margaret Atwood was all, “Okay, your being Canadian has nothing to do with it. Read a lot, find your influences, get rid of them, find your own voice, practice a lot. The end.” Moxie asked a question too…she asked what, in such difficult times, did she (Margaret Atwood) take comfort in. I think she (Moxie) meant difficult times in the sense of politically and environmentally…the Seattle Times headline yesterday was something along the lines of “Over 90% of fish stock has been depleted in the past 50 years”…but I think Margaret Atwood thought differently because after she asked Moxie when she was born, she started talking about how she hadn’t been through the Depression and the Blitz and how she saves string and how really things are better now. Uh, okay. Didn’t she just write a whole book about how bad things are and how it’s getting worse? Anyway, she (Margaret Atwood…I think I’m just going to refer to her as MA because it’s getting annoying to write that and I’m sure it’s annoying to read it too) said that she’s essentially an optimist and, inexplicably, that Moxie should buy a hat. We haven’t figured that out.

MA is very acerbic and brilliant, I have to say. I wish it hadn’t been so much of a Q&A thing…someone from the local NPR interviewed her, and MA didn’t seem to have much use for her…and that she’d just spent the hour talking about the book. I felt very much like a groupie, all leaning forward in my seat and staring at her. We had great seats, right in front, and as she spoke I thought about what it must be like to be her, and what she thinks of all the people who read her books and ask her to sign them, and touring, and having to explain everything over and over, answering the same questions over and over again. I didn’t think she was contemptuous of her audience, but I did get the sense that she was a little frustrated at people for not realizing that what she wrote about in this book is real…the cloning and the splicing and the environmental degradation and the commercialization and so on. She’s made the point before, with The Handmaid’s Tale, that nothing she’s written about hasn’t been tried somewhere at some time. It’s scary enough in that book, but it’s really horrifying to think of the logical conclusions of our actions, as laid out in the book. Maybe she’s frustrated that people read the book and then just put it back on the shelf, without doing anything. I guess I just don’t know what to do though, besides vote, act locally while thinking globally, all those things that you kind of know are ineffective but you do anyway.

So she talked and we listened and some other people asked questions and Moxie asked her question and then it was time to stand in line to get books signed. We stood in line with two very cute girls, one of whom has an enviable gig writing reviews for this site. We stood in line for a loooooooong time. We were right next to the Aspiring Writer, and she talked really loudly about all the different things she does (“I’m a writer and a poet and I paint and…”) and I think I must have been jealous of her, because when she started talking about all the awards she’s won and how encouraging everyone has been, and “Oh, I don’t know, I just like to do everything!” I began to think very evil mean uncharitable thoughts in her direction. I was envious. And she was a little annoying…like, all she can think to ask Margaret Atwood is essentially “Hey, what about me?” Right. Evil bad thoughts.

My question…which I didn’t ask because I was afraid she would be sarcastic in my direction..was this: of the future world in Oryx and Crake and the world of the past in Cat’s Eye,, which feels the most foreign now? I thought about everything she’s written about her early life and I wondered if she must sometimes feel a bit like a time traveler. Not just her, of course, anyone her age. (Increasingly it will be anyone my age). She was talking a lot about when she was younger, and I just wondered what it must be like, to be balanced in one’s head between a time that feels fictitious to someone my age and a time that hasn’t happened yet but probably will soon. That’s not exactly it; I think I didn’t ask this because I couldn’t get at what I want to know. I still can’t. What I did do, though, was something sort of silly and egotistical. Before the talk, the coordinator person asked who’d read the book and I raised my hand, thinking “Twice! I read it twice! Boo yah!” So I (rather stupidly, I admit this was stupid) said, when she was signing the book, “I enjoyed it very much, both times.”

MA You read it twice?

Me Yes.

MA It only came out last Tuesday.

Me I know. I really liked it.

MA Why did you read it twice?

Me (starting to feel a little uncomfortable) Um, well, I was thinking about it a lot and it was giving me nightmares, so I thought I would read it again and see what that was about.

MA Oh.

This is where it would have behooved me to say thank you and to book it out of there. But no.

Me (babbling now) Uh, yeah, I guess I don’t have much of a social life.

MA So maybe you identify with [the character] Snowman, in his tree. He didn’t have much of a social life.

Me (still babbling nervously) Um, no? He had a lot more beautiful naked people around though. I don’t have many of those. Heh.

MA You will.

Yeah, I haven’t seen any yet, but rest assured I will let you all know. Just read the book okay? We’ll talk more later. Maybe I’ll write an actual review. And help Allison and Chris out too…I know they will appreciate it, as you would if random strangers helped you out after your house got burned to the ground. Feel the love, my friends.