Well, I just got a call that the Large Mental Health Agency to which I applied and at which I interviewed on Friday doesn’t want me. “We really liked your energy, and we’d like to keep your name on file.” Hmm. “I really like you as a friend, but I’m not ready for a relationship right now.” I have heard both of those phrases quite a bit in my young life, and they both seem to boil down to the same thing, don’t they?
That’s okay. I’m not going to be afraid. Something will work out. It’s going to be okay, right? I have applied to many many jobs, in fact I just faxed another application, and something will work out. Right?
Yeah, the good mood of last week is slightly deflated, can you tell? Partially this is because it’s super freezing cold righ now…as in yesterday, when I was going to PCC, there was a hailstorm. Hello. It’s May.. It’s May!
But, as I mentioned above, it’s going to be fine. It’s all going to be just fine, and I’m going to find something, and I’m going to do something good, and I’m not going to be thrown starving in the street, at the mercy of my student loan collectors. You all just keep chanting that for me. I’m going for a swim now, since I didn’t go last night because I was enjoying talking to Marah too much. But I’m going now. Then I’m going to try to figure out the pattern for a skirt I got. Then, and stay with me now, as I’m sure the excitement of knowing my itinerary for the day is making you a little dizzy, I’m going to make vegetable soup for dinner! And then, I’m going to bellydance class! Yes! I’m going to wear what I always wear, black harem pants, the red skirt with a ripped waistband because I don’t know how to make a casing yet (which this new skirt pattern requires, by the way), and a black sportsbra! We might even do Pilates tonight! So there! Are those the tremulous words of a quitter, a pathetic unemployed loser who’s been looking for a job for almost a year now? Those, my friends, are the words of someone who is so deeply in denial that she still believes she’s going to get paid to do work she likes, and who is gritting her teeth against reality, and who is praying every day that this horrible time will end soon, and she won’t have to worry about getting a job anymore.