Background Noise

Celery, carrots—yogurt, do we need yogurt? Cat food, baby kitty formula. Oatmeal, garlic, Parmesan, pinto beans, red beans, chickpeas, pita bread. Broccoli rabe. Hummus. Earl Grey. Tomato paste? Olives?

Call the DC Immigration office and ask them how to submit a visa application and a residency application simultaneously when they both require my physical passport. Call the doctor and ask when my records are going to be ready. Call the justice of the peace and ask how to get a certified copy of my passport. Call the new job and ask them if they have an Approval of Principle. Call the bank and ask about wire transfers. Call the student loan people and beg for mercy.

I want a shirt with a robot on it. I want a shirt with a cupcake on it. I want a shirt with RUN DMC on it. I want a shirt that says No Tattoos Yet on it. I want a shirt with an elephant on it. I want a shirt with an octopus on it. I want a shirt with a flower on it.

Whoooooooooooo’s a leetle beebee keetee? Where’s my kitty? Are you a baby kitty? ARE you? Who’s a little potato? Who’s a potato bug? Who’s my sweet potato, who’s my little kumara? Where’s my baby kitty? Come here, kitty. Meow meow? Meow meow meow! Kitty meow meow! Micio! Vieni qua micio! Who’s my little micio, huh? HUH? Where’s my leetle beebee keetee? Aw. Cuddle baby. Tired, baby? Kitty tie-tie? Sweepy wittle cuddle cat?

Mi manchi, amore. Ti voglio bene e mi manchi. Non vedo l’ora di vederti ancora–sente impossibile in questo momento—ma ci vediamo in solo due mese, non sono troppo. Insieme ma lontano, siamo noi—e mi dispiace che non posso esprimere come vorrei in italiano (devo esicitarmi!), ma so che tu capisci. Ti penso ogni giorno e ti sogno ogni sera.

AAAAAAAAAAA MONITOR LIZARD IN THE HOUSE MONITOR LIZARD IN THE HOUSE OMG WHERE IS IT I CAN’T SEE IT UNDER THE STOVE IS IT UNDER THE STOVE MONITOR LIZARD MONITOR LIZARD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Update the school file. Write Steven back. Get started on Christmas embroidery. Call Rebecca. Email Marah. Make soup tomorrow. Deposit the checks. Send the thank-you notes. Download the funky dance grooves ofVelella Velella. Fax the employment agreement. Hang the laundry out. Mop the downstairs. Return that stupid book back to Barnes and Noble. Turn in the time sheet. Return the netflix. Write a real blog entry one of these days.

3 comments

  1. Was it inappropriate of me to use Google to translate that one paragraph? If so, I didn’t do it.

  2. Christmas embroidery? I wanna see the Christmas embroidery!

  3. So was your monitor lizard three inches or three feet long?