My Secret

Wake up a little later than usual because it’s the weekend and at least have breakfast before you listen to the song, before you go out for the day. You don’t know all the lyrics by heart yet but let the melody settle in you while you get in the car and go to the store and to a friend’s house. Let the chorus thrum in your head when you finally head for home, and feel a great sigh of relief when you walk in the door and know that the song is upstairs waiting for you.

Today must have been one of the strangest days
Some would say that you won’t find love that way
But the best days are not planned by common sense
By lack of time, you just happen to be where everything feels fine

It’s a new secret I have found
It’s a new secret I have found…

Press play and check your email and eat a bowl of strawberries and grapes while sitting on the floor in your underwear. Look around and think about your new room, your freshly made bed; think about how clean and crisp the sheets will be tonight, how the brief dark will drop deliciously on you. Press play again and feel the song creeping closer to you, feel it poised to spring nearby.

From today, I’ll change my priorities around
I’m no longer in command, and people say
I’m off solid ground and you’re to blame
But they don’t understand, people never do
It’s confusing, I don’t expect them to

It’s a new secret I have found
It’s a new secret I have found…

Refuse to understand it. It’s a love song and you’re not in love. It’s a hope song and you are scared. It’s a sweet song and you are bitter. There’s no reason to let it hold you and carry you, it doesn’t mean anything and there is no reference point. Struggle with the incompatibilities for a while, press play again, and give up. Let go. Lie down on the floor and let the song eat you.

Today must have been one of the strangest days
I found a place where I could stay
And people say that it will kill me
But they don’t understand
People never do, but it makes sense to me
To be senseless, to change my plans for you

It’s a new secret I have found
It’s a new secret I have found…

Let the guitars burst and shimmer down, let them fall to earth and take seed and grow a thin fine carpet over your limbs, over your heart. Let the summer wash and pull around you, let the tears fall if you can’t help it, let the sun shine outside and press you right down to the exact place you are now.


Lyrics to “My Secret” by Anna Ternheim from Somebody Outside, 2004. All lyrics are the property and copyright of their respective owners. All lyrics are provided for educational purposes and personal use only.

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