Okay. Kerry just conceded. I am bitterly disappointed. I am still just so tired from yesterday.
I have written about fifteen second paragraphs for this entry, one of which started “What’s really bothering me is that no one seems to care about what I think or the issues that are important to me,” and one of which started “Oh, I’m so sure the pundits would be calling for healing and unity and respecting the Presidency if Kerry had won,” and one of which started with “My heart is breaking because of the anti-gay marriage amendments.” I can’t think straight. I can’t think about anything else other than the disappointment of the hopes I had.
I guess this makes me a sore loser. I’m trying not to think that way and trying to be glad about high voter turnout and the workings of the democratic system; although we won’t ever know, probably, what happened in Ohio. I’m glad we still have two Democrats in the Senate from Washington and I’m glad the monorail recall initiative went down, as did the charter schools thing. I’m glad that nothing terrorist-related happened around the elections and I’m hopeful that maybe this election will galvanize more people to become (and stay) politically active. There are many silver linings here, I know there are.
But in my heart I guess it boils down to just plain not understanding. I just don’t understand how the country could elect (both by the electoral college and the popular vote) this person for another four years, knowing what we know about Iraq and the economy and civil rights and all the rest of it. I really must live in a bubble because I honestly don’t get it and I know one of my election promises is to try to get it. Can someone explain? I hear people saying that, yes, he’s made some mistakes but is doing his best and I think, really? Are we reading two different types of news here? I feel crazy sometimes for thinking what I think and now I’m beginning to feel very marginalized. See, I didn’t think Kerry was that liberal. I got to like him more as the campaigns went on and I thought he came off as pretty thoughtful and all that but I never understood what the big deal was about him being a liberal. Does this make me crazy, totally out of touch with the mainstream? I mean, I use public transportation and I shop for organic produce at a local co-op, is that the underlying problem here?
But you know, what the hell. Today I’m going to be unashamed and say I don’t understand why it’s okay for Republicans to be crazy but not Democrats; that I wish with all my heart that every single person in this country had to spend a year living below the poverty line and have to deal with the system first hand; that education and health care were free; that civil rights for all people were enshrined as the most important pillar of democracy; that there was never any war anywhere ever again. I wish there wasn’t such a huge gap between the rich and the poor and that everyone who wants to get married could do so. I wish there was a warm bed and a hot dinner for every single person on the planet, and I wish that all of us could have meaningful work and religious freedom. And here would be the part where I should say something like “And yeah, I wish for a unicorn pony and to wear a size six as well, because NONE OF THAT IS EVER GOING TO HAPPEN,” but I’m not because I don’t think that any of those wishes are all that crazy. I don’t care right now about being realistic or human nature or any of the arguments I’ve heard about why I can’t want things the way I want them.