Lovin’ and Hatin’

I love: That I am buying my railpass for my trip this weekend. Probably.

I hate: That I am buying some new, very expensive tires for my car today. Definitely.

I love: Cherry trees in the spring. Very fluffy and pretty and make you kind of want to pretend you’re a geisha in tenth-century Japan or something, writing love poems at the Emporer’s court and painting your teeth black and writing the world’s first novel.

I hate: That it’s raining again today and it’s making all the cherry blossom fall off and turn into grayish white mush upon which I slip and fall on a semi-regular basis.

But I still love: That it’s definitely almost spring because I’m seeing some leaves poking out on the hydrangea bush in front of my door and also some pink flowers on some sort of tree in the back yard that I don’t know the name of but which is still very nice in its anonymous, no-name-having way.

Yet still I hate: That it took me four or five tries to correctly type “hydrangea.” Previous attempts included “hyfragnea,” “hydrahea” and “hyrnansa.” I don’t get it. It’s H-D-R-A-H-G-A. Wait, no it’s not. Gah! It’s really H-Y-D-R-A-N-G-E-A. Eeesh.

I love: That I got a nice new knitting book for my birthday and that I’m going to try to make a baby blanket for Chester’s baby that is currently residing in her belly.

I hate: That I haven’t been to the yarn store for a very long time and now I’m sort of afraid that I’ve forgotten how to cast on and to knit and purl, so there won’t be any baby blanket at all, ever, for anyone’s baby.

I love: Netflix.

I hate: That for some reason I haven’t had any time to watch movies the last couple of weeks. Carl’s leaving for DC on Monday though so maybe I’ll have some more free time to knit and watch movies. Is that something to love or something to hate? You decide.

I love: This picture of me with Frank on my birthday.

I hate: That you can’t see that I’m sort of humping his leg yet he is still being a perfect gentleman about the whole thing. Also I want a Vespa shirt just like his, which you also can’t see too well because my arm flab is in the way.

I love That I spent a long time on the phone last night talking to several friends whom I love very much.

I hate: That I hung up accidentally on Kat a couple of times because apparently I haven’t figured out the whole cellphone earphone thing yet. Also, these lovely friends and many more of my lovely friends are so far away from me and I just don’t understand why we can’t all live together as is clearly the best thing for everyone.

I love: This entry.

I hate: How scared and angry and powerless and ENRAGED I feel about this issue (see above!) and all issues concerning civil rights and the PATRIOT act and the 9-11 Commissionand globalization and the Bush Administration and see, I can’t even write about any of this coherently or effectively because it just winds down into a high-pitched keening wail that, you know, packs a lot of argumentative punch. I guess all I want to add to Pamie’s excellent entry is if you think that you’re safe because you’re straight or white or because you were born in the US or because you’ve never done anything wrong in your life, just wait. Just you wait because one day, if things keep going the way they’re going and if we don’t vote this administration out in November (are you registered?) it’s going to be you, it’s going to be us that are all of a sudden found unconstitutional or indecent. Free speech and democracy do mean, if I comprehend correctly, that things occasionally get messy, but I’d rather be messy than completely censored and oppressed.

I love: My journal. And my readers. And writing, even though I still feel like I’m in this weird holding pattern where I can’t quite get out what I want to get out. And you, too. Especially I love you.


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