That’s what I’m doing right now as I write this! Isn’t that so amazingly crazy? Actually, if you must know, I am keeping an eye on the mustard carrots (mmm!) and the shepherd’s pie is in the oven for another fifteen minutes. Clearly I am in the mood for comfort food tonight, yes? So we’ll see what I can whip out while I’m waiting.
I thought I would be safe from more electrodes on my head at work after last Tuesday’s episode, but apparently that is not to be, my friends. This time they let me lie down, which somehow felt a little weird, and then my big boss leaned over me and attached the electrodes to my hands and head again, which also felt vaguely sinister, except he kept going “scrubby scrubby scrubby!” in this weird high-pitched voice…although now that I feature it, that was pretty sinister too.
And then I fell asleep! They were hypnotizing me and everything, and I just fell the hell asleep. I guess I’d had a hard day. It was my early day, and I couldn’t get some Access files to work, and also I’d had a lot of Nerds, which maybe are really just sleeping pills in fluorescent candy form, judging by my reaction. They tried to bring me up out of hypnosis a couple of times, and every time I had to really fight to wake up. It was embarrasing. I’m just glad I didn’t wake up with shaving cream all over my face.
Oh, man. The recipe for the mustard carrots (mmm!) specifically said to “use vigilance” during the last couple of minutes so that the sauce wouldn’t burn. I was using my sad little typing skills instead of vigilance, apparently. That’s okay. Carrots still taste good. Mmm, mustard carrots. With dill and brown sugar. My mouth is watering like you can’t believe, and all for a root vegetable.
I don’t know if you remember, but I went to this wedding a while ago that I didn’t much like. I was all bitchy and said that it was a dumb wedding and that my imaginary Monterey Bay Aquarium wedding would be, like, way better, and on and on and on. Let this be a lesson to you, my pretties, don’t ever say anything about anyone. Express no opinions ever. Because whose house did I go to on Sunday for a delightful afternoon of conversation and stir-fry? That’s right! That couple! With their parents! And Carl’s parents! Honestly, it was a lot of fun and the food was great and I liked the couple whose wedding I was so mean about very much. They seemed much more grown-up than me, in that they had serious grown up furniture (including a china cabinet) and a bowl of nuts on the table and soft background music playing when we got there. We had a great time talking and hanging out with the various sets of parents and I was just kicking myself for writing such stupid and mean stuff. Thank goodness I’m not an internet rock star and that no one reads this journal. I feel really badly.
And on that note, I will take off here and get out my oven mitts and eat my slightly burnt (or as I prefer to spin it, “caramelized”) carrots, and hope y’all have had nice dinners tonight and that you are never in the position of talking (and sometimes) writing faster than you think.