I think this entry is supposed to be about drug use, right? If the movie is a clue? That’s the one where it’s the seventies and they paddle the freshmen and Parker Posey is skinny and scary and Ben Affleck has freakish sideburns and what’s-her-name that has the annoying voice and was in Chasing Amy talks annoyingly? And there are two geeky guys who also show up in A Beautiful Mind, playing geeks? Yes? Well, I didn’t do much like that in high school. Or in college. I think regular readers of this journal, if they didn’t actually know me in high school or college, have by now figured out that I am perhaps the biggest goody two-shoes in the entire world. And so pharmaceutically speaking, I am never dazed and confused. I am the very model of a modern major abstainer.
You know why? Because I am plenty dazed and confused all on my own, thanks very much. I’ve already told you about some difficulties I have at work, what with the being constantly befuddled as to where in space my office, and indeed my office chair, is located. I have no sense of direction worth mentioning…if you really want to mess me up, try asking me to get home from somewhere I’ve never been when I’ve forgotten to print out Reverse Directions in Mapquest. I mean, just watch the tears run down my face, seriously. Even better? Instead of left or right, tell me to go north or south. There I’ll be, huddled up in the fetal position as much as one can be while driving in Belltown on a Saturday night.
But all that’s fine. So what if I smash my head on the shelf above my desk at work every single time I a) stand up or b) sit down. I don’t mind losing my glasses every night and running around every morning desperately trying to find them. It’s the bigger stuff that I worry about. You know. How Do You Know You’re In Love? What Does Being A Good Friend Reaaaaaaaaally Mean? Is It Okay To Hate People? And probably the biggest one: What’s Going To Happen To Me? How Do I Live? I would be fine with being dazed and confused if only I could figure some of that out.