Ain’t No Vacation

Meh. 9:30 on a Sunday night and I’m updating. I don’t have a single thing to say. I can’t concentrate on anything. I just want to read a million online journals. I have a bunch of dishes in the sink. I got A Beautiful Mind to watch, mainly because I am interested in craziness and Carl is interested in math. Also, Carl’s granddad was Nash’s department advisor in the 50s or something. His other granddad discovered an element. Like, in the periodic table. Carl comes from academic royalty, he does. He’s quite a catch, yes? That has nothing to do with anything, especially how it’s Labor Day weekend and I have done absolutely nothing, just like on the 4th of July. I have mostly been taking naps and futzing around. Imagine what I would be like if I had TV. At least now when I’m lazy I can pretend that I’m being all deep…I just finished Middlemarch!..but I know that if I had cable, that would be then end of me. You’d never see your friend Chiara again. I’d be lost in a world of Trading Spaces and Big Brother and A Dating Story and I would never do anything, ever. Ever ever.

Yeah. I baked a cake. I talked a lot with Carl. I went out to lunch. I cried a little. Talked to my mom and to My Friend Manya. I slept late. I got the cats a cat toy. Ziggy hates it so far. This is a first, with me, although once I did make them some catnip shapes out of ultrasuede left over from my bellydance bra. I tend to improvise my cat toys: “Here, kitty kitty! Come play with my good silk shirt! Why don’t you come over here and bat the delicate translucent cups from my Vietnamese tea set around? How about you rip my paycheck to shreds? Who’s a goooood cat? Where’s my good cat? Goood kitty.” I got them a ball with a jingle bell in it. Cats love that, right? The only good thing I can say about this toy is that at least I got plenty of exercise throwing it at Ziggy, and then going over and picking it up and then throwing it again, and then going, “Come on, cat! That thing cost a dollar! Bat it around, or something! Come onnnnnn!” And Ziggy looks at me all, “Bitch, please. ” And continues knocking over the dried flowers, or whatever he’s doing. Yesterday he ate some of Carl’s spinach that was still in the grocery bag. Just stuck his head in and grabbed a leaf or two and ate it very neatly. I haven’t seen his reprobate sister Spike for a couple of days. Maybe she’ll like the jingle ball.

It’s starting to think about being fall here in Seattle. Hasn’t rained yet, but it’s only a matter of a couple of weeks. I’m going to make a fleece sweater again this year, as it’s been several months since I had a frustrating project to work on. Well, that’s not completely true. Mom sent me an embroidery project and that’s been pretty frustrating as I can’t seem to figure out how to do a French knot. Can someone please tell me how to do this? I want these pillowcases to look pretty. But yes, it’s been a whole year since I made a fleece sweater, and I’m not so hipped on wearing the raspberry monstrosity I made last year this winter. I think a pullover model with no snaps that weigh a thousand pounds each and require a hammer to install will be a good thing for me.

But it’s that time of year when the sun sets fifteen minutes earlier every night. It’s really noticeable. I’m enjoying being able to hang my laundry out to dry while I can…because that’s what I do during my long weekends, is laundry…and I thought about closing the front room window for the first time in four or five months. Three weeks ago I was considering buying a fan, and now I’m pretty sure I can put that off till next winter.

I have no idea what my life is going to look like next winter. I really don’t. I think I will probably still be living in Seattle, but that’s it. I don’t know whether I will have moved, or whether I will still be with Carl, or whether I will still be seeing my cats on a daily basis. If I’ll still be at my new job….it’s been a month, so it’s not brand-new anymore, but you know, still pretty new…and if I’ll have a new purple fleece sweater. I can’t decide if all this indecision is exciting or terrifying. Wait, yes I can: terrifying. I grew up in a mostly stable environment, thanks to my mom, but there were still some long periods when I was never sure what was going on. Hence I have a deep love of routine and predictability. I mean, I can be spontaneous, but I like to plan for it, you know? Yeah, you know. I like to make plans and set goals and be thinking about the big picture, and for some reason that’s just not working right now in my life. I thought that getting a job would make that a little easier, and I guess it does. It’s just everything else that’s hard.

In other, less whiny news, I would like to note here that today my non-diet diet has been very much more on the “non” side that the “diet” side. I woke up two pounds lighter today and immediately celebrated by eating a huge hamburger at the 74th Street Grill, which makes the only burgers I will now eat, and then topped it off with a dinner of goldfish crackers, honey-roasted peanuts, and amarettini cookies. Mmm, good. So healthy and well balanced. Didn’t Romy from Romy and Michelle have a diet like that? Well, she looked really good, right? Right.

My dishes stillaren’t done, and I’ve been writing for half an hour now. Man. Woman’s work never is done!

Okay. I’m done. I try, y’all, I really try to write cool stuff for this journal. I never know whether to save up my good ideas for one decent entry or to just update more often and write whatever nonsense is in my head. But sometimes those are the best entries, right? Hey, look, AB and Pineapple just answered my question about the skirt over pants thing. I did try it a couple of weeks ago, except I haven’t actually bought the skinny Merrill shoes yet, so I just wore my black wedgies I got in Italy instead. I thought it looked okay, but AB and PG have differing opinions. I’ll have to post a picture. Later, though, okay? I have to do some dishes, and then I have to feel sorry for myself for a while, okay? And then, uh, I guess then I have to sleep late and go to the grocery store and have another non-holiday holiday. I hope yall have used your time better than me!


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